Big Mama

I have noticed lately when looking back through photos of myself during my pregnancy that I seriously porked out (and this is definitely beyond the cute pregnancy weight, this is like super chubby face weight) in the last couple of months before Evren was born. I mean... big time. At the time I had no idea... I knew had gained a bit "too much" weight, but I didn't notice it then. So, upon seeing these photos, my thoughts, in order:

1. Wow I got fat!!
2. Friends and loved ones: why didn't anyone tell me that I was turning into such a fattie?!?
3. I guess you were probably afraid I would get mad and eat you.
4. From the look of it, you were right.




"I must feed my baby belly!!"

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Sugar-Free Birthday Cake!

So, here is how we made this tasty cake for our wee one on his first birthday:
Cake:
2c. Flour
2/3 c mashed banana
1/2 c softened butter
3/4 c water
1tsp. Cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. baking powder
3 eggs

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix banana and butter until good and creamy. Add water. In another bowl, beat the eggs until very foamy, then add to the banana mixture. Then slowly beat in the flour, baking soda, baking powder and cinnamon. Bake for about 20 min or until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean.

Sugar-free icing:
8 oz cream cheese
Mashed banana and berries to taste (this is the only sweetness, but turns out pretty good!)
1 tsp vanilla extract

Set the cream cheese out so it gets to room temperature, then beat with a fork until whipped. Then add some mashed banana and berries (berries are fun for added color and the ultimate in birthday cake mess making!), we used blackberries.

Result  = yum!

One Year

So, I just spent the evening preparing Evren's sugar-free-ready-to-demolish-just-for-those-pictures birthday cake, and man was I feeling some serious emotions... Wasn't expecting to get hit so hard. What is it? Am I sad that the best year of my life has gone by so quickly? Am I so happy to see my little boy make it to this first milestone happy and healthy? Am I scared that the rest of the years we have together are just going to go faster and faster? And am I scared that I won't be able to shake off these feelings and live in the moment, that the precious few moments that we have will be filled by my flood of "oh no, this is going too fast!"? Yep. Brain vs. heart is a tricky thing. My brain knows that I just need to be present, and just be cool with it all, but my heart is, well, see above. Sheesh. Being a mom is so the hardest thing I've ever done and totally the best. How do you deal with these feelings?  P.S. recipe and photos of above mentioned sugar-free cake (with tasty icing) will be coming soon, hopefully accompanied by hilarious photos of baby-cake-face