One Year

So, I just spent the evening preparing Evren's sugar-free-ready-to-demolish-just-for-those-pictures birthday cake, and man was I feeling some serious emotions... Wasn't expecting to get hit so hard. What is it? Am I sad that the best year of my life has gone by so quickly? Am I so happy to see my little boy make it to this first milestone happy and healthy? Am I scared that the rest of the years we have together are just going to go faster and faster? And am I scared that I won't be able to shake off these feelings and live in the moment, that the precious few moments that we have will be filled by my flood of "oh no, this is going too fast!"? Yep. Brain vs. heart is a tricky thing. My brain knows that I just need to be present, and just be cool with it all, but my heart is, well, see above. Sheesh. Being a mom is so the hardest thing I've ever done and totally the best. How do you deal with these feelings?  P.S. recipe and photos of above mentioned sugar-free cake (with tasty icing) will be coming soon, hopefully accompanied by hilarious photos of baby-cake-face