The dimmer switch of babyhood

So, it felt like I blinked and he was gone. Like a switch was flipped and suddenly my little baby boy was transformed into the walking, climbing,
dirt-eating, stick-collecting, stick-poking (in fact, anything stick-and-dirt-related) little toddler. It was in fact not so much a switch flipped, but more like a dimmer switch that took about three weeks to dim completely. Over this period, a crazy transformation took place. He was so unpredictable, crazy needy and hurting from molars starting to come in, fine tuning the fine art of walking, then climbing, then running (complete with several bruises peppered daily across his tiny legs), never knowing what he wanted (up or down, food or milk or water or nothing, who knows?!) , then poof! The transformation was complete, and here before us at 11 months old was this little person who may as well have been saying, "Mother, Father, a pleasure to meet you. It would very much please me to go outside and have a nibble of everything I can find." Crazy stuff.


My baby does still make an appearance occasionally, like when he is asleep, or has hurt himself, but for the most part I am just trying to get to know this new guy. And probably, by the time I get to know him, someone new will once again have taken his place. Repeat the process.


I suppose I can share what I think is some kind of moral here.
It is very easy to get caught up in trying to do what is best for your baby. For me, it was spending a LOT of time googling...should I eat only organic while breastfeeding? Best ways to avoid food allergies...unsafe chemicals in cleaning supplies, greenest cleaning supplies...chemicals found in fire-retardant baby pajamas...on and on. At some point I did realize that a lot of this stuff can be common sense, that there is just too much to ever be on top of it all without losing my mind, and that I would not be World's worst mother if I was weak and had a soda or some French fries, or gave my baby a non-organic apple, even though apples are #1 on the dirty ldozen list! So at around 5-6 months, I put my baby textbooks away, stopped freaking out over the tiniest things and started doing my best to be present with my son as much as possible. This has been a very good thing, especially knowing now how fast it really does go...


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